This is my idea of third-date food.
Yes, I know what you’re thinking. Steak on the third date? Isn’t that a bit…much?
Bear with me. There’s method to the madness — perhaps a touch of single-girl logic, but logic all the same.
Let’s start at the beginning.
The first date: you’re charming, quick-witted, and funny. You tell stories — maybe about medical school, cadavers, or whatever occupies your life right now — and you mention that you cook. You flirt a little, have a drink, and by the end of the night he’s kissing you goodnight (or making out with you). You leave the date feeling confident and hopeful.
A few days later he calls. Why three days? Who knows. The number three always seems to matter in dating lore.
The second date is where things get real. First impressions matter, but the second date separates casual interest from something more deliberate. From this point on, you’re under closer scrutiny. Is she third-date material?
There’s something intimidating about the third date for many men. It often signals the move toward commitment — the point where both people start weighing whether the relationship is worth investing more time in. After two dates you’ve already spent the better part of a day together. The third date can push things into a new zone, and asking for that is basically saying, “I’m interested.”
And getting a guy to say he’s “all in” is often easier said than done.
In the past year I’ve had my share of first and second dates and very few third ones. (Some of those were my choice — I didn’t want to escalate things — but still.) That’s why I feel strongly that a man who commits to a third date deserves a reward.
Positive reinforcement works. Even if the relationship doesn’t last, you’ve shown him that a third date isn’t the end of the world — it can be delicious instead.
Enter the steak.
There’s also something irresistible about a great steak. When it’s done right, it does wonders for attraction. Serve a memorable meal and you’ve practically guaranteed a fourth, fifth, and maybe sixth date.
Lola Steak Sauce
Makes 1 cup, adapted from Live To Cook
Ingredients:
2 cups balsamic vinegar
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1/2 cup raisins
1 small yellow onion, diced
3 garlic cloves
2 tbsp brown sugar
1/2 tsp whole cloves
1/2 tsp cumin seeds
1/2 tbsp celery salt (optional — I left it out)
1 sprig fresh rosemary
2 salt-packed anchovy fillets, rinsed and chopped
Method: Combine the balsamic and red wine vinegars, raisins, onion, garlic, brown sugar, cloves, cumin seeds, celery salt (if using), rosemary, and anchovies in a large nonreactive saucepan. Simmer over medium-low heat until the mixture reduces by about one third. Strain twice through a fine-mesh strainer until the sauce is smooth, discarding the solids. Let cool, then store in a covered jar in the refrigerator for up to one month.
Lola Fries with Rosemary
Serves 4, adapted from Live To Cook
These were originally intended to be deep-fried, but I prefer a lighter approach.
Ingredients:
2 pounds russet potatoes
1 tsp finely chopped fresh rosemary
1 tsp coarse sea salt
Method: Cut the potatoes into fries roughly 1/4 inch thick. Preheat the oven to 450°F. Arrange the fries on a baking sheet, spray lightly with cooking oil, then sprinkle with salt and rosemary. Bake for about 45 minutes, turning once, until golden and crisp.
Grilled Hanger Steak with Steak Sauce
Serves 6, adapted from Live To Cook
Ingredients:
1 tbsp salt
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp crushed coriander seeds
1 tsp ancho chile powder
4 lb hanger steak, trimmed of excess fat and connective tissue
Lola Steak Sauce, for serving
Note: The original recipe included pickled chilies, but mine didn’t turn out well, so I served the steak with a simple chopped tomato salad seasoned with salt and cilantro. If you follow the original pickled-chili instructions, they should complement the meat nicely.
Method: Mix the salt, sugar, crushed coriander, and ancho chile powder. Rub the mixture over the steaks and refrigerate overnight or up to two days to let the flavors develop. Remove steaks from the refrigerator about 30 minutes before cooking to come closer to room temperature.
Prepare a hot grill or preheat the broiler. Grill the hanger steak about 3 minutes per side for medium-rare, depending on thickness; broiling may take a bit longer, so watch carefully. Remove the steak and let it rest, uncovered, for 10 minutes. Slice against the grain, divide among six plates, top with the tomato salad or pickled chilies, and drizzle with Lola Steak Sauce.
This menu is my contribution to a few food events and challenges I enjoy participating in. It’s simple, bold, and perfect for a date that matters.
Regional Recipes: Vietnam — I’m accepting entries for a themed roundup; send your submissions soon.